The UnValentine’s Day

The future’s so bright…

February 13th, 2009 I packed my bag, purchased an airplane ticket and walked out on my Italian lover. In spite of the temptation to do so, I never looked back.

I arrived in Montreal on Valentine’s Day. How appropriate I thought, to come home to a city that I love, and on Valentine’s Day. It was my gift to myself. Rather than see irony in the situation – as a cynic might, I only saw how right and fitting it was. That’s the optimist in me.

More importantly, I fell into the arms of girlfriends who, with very little notice, came to my rescue. We were Sex and the City “North” I was Carrie Bradshaw – returning from a disastrous Paris experience minus Mr. Big. There was, however, one small glitch.

I had planned to stay in Europe for while and travel, so when I returned not only was I heartbroken, I was essentially homeless. Luckily for me, that was no impediment to my resourceful friends.

Zara was waiting at the airport, car warmed and ready to “come pick” me as she likes to say in her charming Syrian accent.

Nadia made a few quick phone calls and found a furnished place for me at a very reasonable rate. And it wasn’t just any apartment: it was in the heart of the city with a view that took my breath away and my mind off of my troubles. Inside were a lovely orchid plant – and a bowl of bright red apples to comfort me. Nadia had even made sure the internet and the satellite TV were activated.

Annie wasn’t far behind with a bag full of groceries and some toiletries. It was like I had never left. Perhaps, I thought, I had dreamed the whole thing, awakened from a nightmare and found myself in safe and familiar surroundings. Whew! That was a close one.

We celebrated Valentine’s Day– just us girls – a few days later at a cozy little restaurant on McGill. Tucked away in the corner, we ordered tapas and ‘tinis and we toasted ourselves and celebrated our first Un-Valentine’s Day.

We had such a good time that it’s a tradition we plan to continue. This year we plan to spend our UnValentine’s Day on February 27th by creating a pot luck dinner complete with candles, champagne and of course chocolate. No need to worry about reservations.

Break-ups are never easy, and the ones that occur on Valentine’s Day have to be the worst. However, that experience became the inspiration for a book – the premise for which you can read on this blog.

It’s also the basis for this blog which has come to be one of the most satisfying aspects of my life because it touches so many people.

Last year I felt I was in the middle of a long dark tunnel with only a match for illumination. I didn’t know it at the time that one year later I would come out the other side happier, with a new purpose – needing to wear sun glasses.

Photo: © iStockphoto.com/Primeop76

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The Devil Made Me Do It…

Care for a bite?

Athough I have been in a dating no man’s land lately,  I have to confess that I haven’t been quite celibate.  I did unexpectedly stumble upon a tiny oasis in the non-dating desert one night this past summer.  It happened at a local salsa club here in Montreal.  I really didn’t feel like going, but a friend had asked me to teach him salsa in preparation for an upcoming wedding.

So thanks to him, I picked up my shoes, plucked up my courage, and headed for the club. It was crowded for a Monday night, but since it was early we caught a beginner group lesson.  Many dance clubs offer lessons at the beginning of the night, and it’s a good way to meet people and scope out potential dance partners for later in the evening.

What usually happens is this: a practice session is set up so that the men on the outside of the circle rotate every few patterns or sequences. The women are on the inside of the circle. It’s a good system because you’re able to dance with a lot of different people.

That evening, during a break, I noticed a young man staring at me.  We exchanged smiles and a slight greeting. Later, we danced a couple of times during the rotation.

After the group lesson, and few solo dances with my friend, I was ready to leave.  I was packing up my shoes when this young man approached me and struck up a conversation.  He was so natural about it and so at ease that after a few minutes I’d almost forgotten we had just met.  He was open and enthusiastic, and there was this sweetness about him.

Men in this younger age group don’t carry a lot of baggage.  Life hasn’t yet taught them to be cautious and calculating the way it does some of the men (and women) of my generation.  The course of the conversation with this young man was so refreshingly different that I couldn’t make up my mind if wanted to kiss him or pat him on the head.

We talked about travel, career and life in general.  His question about my three life goals caught me off guard.  I hadn’t thought about that since – well since I was his age really.  His short list was action oriented whereas mine was more philosophical.  He wanted to take time off to travel, start his own business and learn as much as he could about life.

My short list included dwelling in tranquility, having more time, spending it  wisely, and not squandering any opportunities along the way.   I’m not quite sure that he “got it” because when you’re young you always think you have more time.

Later, he offered to drive me home and I accepted.  As he pulled up in front of my building, he asked if I would like to go for a walk.  It was a balmy night, and the stars were out. I thought it would be a shame to waste such a night especially when it was one of the few nice nights we’d had all summer.  And so I accepted, but I had to do a few things first like change, use the bathroom and pick up some bottled water.

My building is like Fort Knox, with security cameras everywhere and a vigilant doorman.  So I felt comfortable inviting him up to wait for me while I did what I had to do. Max, my doorman, gave me a little smile as my guest signed in.  I returned his smile with an “It’s not what you think” look.

Except that wasn’t quite true, and I wondered if that look was meant more to convince me than Max.   I had never done anything quite like this before.  The good angel on my right shoulder whispered “Lead us not into temptation” while the fallen angel on my left shoulder shouted ”Yield to temptation! It may not pass your way again.”*

We never did go for a walk that night.  We ended up drinking iced tea on my balcony and wishing on all the stars we saw. I felt like I was back in high school.

Finally he leaned over and whispered, “I wish I could kiss you”

“You’re in luck,” I said, “because granting wishes is my specialty.”

All kinds of wishes came true that night.  He had wanted experience and got it.  As for me, it was a night well spent with someone I didn’t know from Adam.

*Robert A. Heinlein

Photo: © iStockphoto.com/oliverwolfson

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